So, you’ll notice that I haven’t blogged since September.  If you follow me on YouTube you’ll probably have noticed that I haven’t made a video since the end of October.  If you didn’t know I did the YouTube stuff please do check me out by visiting my YouTube channel.  Although life has gotten in the way of it all a little, there are other reasons why I’ve neglected these things.

When I started making YouTube videos (on my channel), it was after being inspired when watching other, well established YouTubers doing it, and doing it very well.  I find I’m very good at coming up with ideas and so I (rather arrogantly) thought that I would automatically be able to come up with videos straight away, without practice and/or experience.  This was not the case.  I would record a video, I would then edit it and continue to do so, even though I was unhappy with most aspects of it.  It was as though I’d convinced myself that because I’d decided to start a YouTube channel and because I’d uploaded my first video, more had to follow otherwise I had failed.

Here’s the video:

Also, as I mentioned in my video titled “Thank You YouTube” I’m quite self concious, mostly about being somewhat cross-eyed.  For some reason, when starting the channel this didn’t even enter my head.  Several of the videos that were uploaded back then are gone now.  My self conciousness would take over as soon as I’d see myself on the screen.  As a result I very nearly stopped before I had really begun.  That and the bolt thread going on my camera, making it impossible for me to attach it to a tripod left a huge gap between videos.

You wont know this at the time of writing this, but I make videos for another channel.  I sing in a parish church choir (no I’m not religious, but I’m no Dawkins fan either), and since the Summer we have been regularly uploading videos to YouTube and they’re doing quite well.  I really enjoy filming, editing and making these videos and I’m sure it shows in the quality of the work, I’ve not needed to worry about the tripod for this channel so I’ve continued to make the videos even since October.  Because these videos don’t focus on me I’ve not had to be self concious  If you’re interested in getting an idea of what I mean you can look at the channel for yourself.  The Choir of St Mary’s, Maldon YouTube Channel.

The point I’m trying to make is that making these other videos for the choir has reminded me that it’s a hobby, one I really want to keep working at and really want to enjoy.  The sole purpose of it is to have fun.  I’ve nothing to prove  That’s all it is, nothing more and nothing less.  It’s me that’s making it less fun for myself and no one else.  So as I managed to do a temporary fix on my camera so it is at least usable (for now) I’m back, feeling fresh and inspired and full of ideas.  Still working on the confidence but hopefully that will come in time.  I’ve also made quite a nerdy purchase today which makes me chuckle and smile everytime I look at it on the shelf over my desk, this has somehow inspired me even more.  I guess it shows off my Android love.

Bit of a long post this one, I hope it helps people to understand me a bit more thank you for reading to the end and for your continued support.

Back very soon.

Kieran!